Why I cry after having sex – find out the reasons

If you are reading these lines, it is because it has happened to you or your partner that you have finished making love and, suddenly, for no apparent reason, tears begin to flow from one of your eyes. “Is this normal?” or “why do I cry after having sex?” you ask yourself in this situation. Although it may sound strange, feeling like crying after having sex is something quite common that happens to both men and women. However, it is also normal that if it is the first time that it happens to you or your partner, you do not know how to react to this fact.

Next, in this article we explain why there are people who feel like crying after making love. Read on and discover the most common causes of this emotional phenomenon.

Postcoital sadness or dysphoria.

One of the main reasons that a person may feel like crying after sexual intercourse is because they suffer from a psychological or emotional disorder known as dysphasia or postcoital sadness.

Postcoital dysphasia is defined as a powerful feeling of sadness, irritability or even anxiety after having had a sexual relationship. Although this phenomenon at first, decades ago was thought to only happen to people of the female sex, men can also suffer from it. In addition, the duration of this disorder is highly variable, since the person who suffers from it can feel this way from just a few minutes to a few hours.

Although at first we may think that postcoital dysphoria may be caused by a crisis with our partner or by going through a bad personal moment, its causes have nothing to do with emotional problems, but rather for biological reasons. According to psychiatrist Walter Guerin, who participated in a study conducted by the Queensland University of Technology, postcoital dysphoria can be caused by a drop in the levels of oxytocin and endorphins  (two hormones related to love and well-being) right after orgasm and by an irregular functioning of the brain amygdale that instead of relaxing, is activated and can even cause feelings of modesty and fear.

Crying after having sex for other emotional problems

We have already seen in the previous section that crying after making love can be caused by hormonal imbalances that occur in postcoital dysphoria. However, this phenomenon is not only the only possible cause for this crying. Emotional problems may also be causing these tears after having sex.

If you ask yourself “why do I cry after having sex?” Here are some of the emotional problems that may be causing this emotional phenomenon:

• Bad personal moment: Some people feel sadness or a feeling of emptiness because they do not feel emotionally stable at a certain moment. If after sex you feel especially insecure or irritable, it is likely that you will have to go to a psychologist to help you in this bad situation.
• Relationship crisis: You could also be feeling this urge to cry because perhaps you are not having the best time with your boyfriend / girlfriend. It is possible that you have noticed a negative change in that person such as that they are less affectionate or that relationships are not so good and, therefore, the insecurity or the pain produced by that emotional distance makes you bring those tears to the surface after sex. Sexual trauma: Did you have a bad experience in the past? After a relationship, you may cry because it unconsciously makes you relive the shame, pain, or fear you felt during a traumatic sexual experience.

Is crying after making love always a bad thing?

NO, not all causes of crying after sex are negative. Just as dysphoria is produced, according to the previous study, by a drop in hormones related to the feeling of well-being, the body’s chemistry can also cause just the opposite: that crying after having sex is for happiness.

When a person experiences an orgasm during a sex session, their brain (contrary to what happens in postcoital dysphoria) releases a large amount of hormones such as oxytocin and endorphins, which are related to the feeling of happiness, well-being and attachment. Learn more about what oxytocin is and what it is for in this other article.

If these levels increase significantly during that fleeting moment, that person may feel too overwhelming emotions. This can cause a release in the form of crying when trying to assimilate those high hormone levels.